I wish i was in the wii world.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
