I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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