we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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