After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
