i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
