omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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