I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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