hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
