playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
