she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
