The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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