Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize