Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
