dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
