great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
