therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
