Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
