She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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