Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
