with your own penis?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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