Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
