now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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