I wanna bring you to show and tell
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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