Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
