put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she peed on how many people?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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