This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
