i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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