hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
