Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
