This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize