Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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