Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
