You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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