just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
