one two three fourrrrnication!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
