I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
