I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
