butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
