Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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