Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just pee around me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize