I want to make a zoo with you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
did i just pee glitter
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
