just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
