He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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