That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
