He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
