i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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