i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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