I CAN MOONWALK!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
