Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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