And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
