sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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