Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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