Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize