does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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