she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize