I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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