i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
