Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
COCAINE IS GR8
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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