What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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