So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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