Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
